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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Confused David Stern Thought Gilbert Arenas Was Where Toronto Raptors Played

NEW YORK—Upon hearing reports that star guard Gilbert Arenas was recovering well from two surgeries on his left knee, NBA commissioner David Stern was silent for several moments before revealing that he had previously believed 'Gilbert Arenas' was the name of the stadium where the Toronto Raptors played their home games. "So…Gilbert Arenas, that's where the Blue Jays play, and the Argonauts, and sometimes they have the circus in town when the season is right for it, right?" said Stern, referring to the Air Canada Centre. "Isn't their owner's name Gilbert? I thought it was pronounced with a silent T or something, because it's all French up there. I never heard the name out loud before now, see, I've always just read it. 'Gilbert Arenas.' Huh." Upon admitting his mistake, Stern extended his best wishes to Arenas and expressed the hope that he would return to the Raptors' lineup soon.

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