adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
End Of Section
  • More News

Congolese Rebel Can't Bring Himself To Care About Congolese War

GOMA, DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO—While he admitted to having heard mentions of the bloody uprising and grave humanitarian crisis, Congolese rebel Emmanuel Muamba, 26, told reporters Thursday that he is having difficulty taking any real interest in the country’s ongoing insurrection and has “pretty much tuned out” all references to the conflict. “I vaguely know there’s something going on between government forces and insurgents, but frankly, I just find myself not caring about it at all,” said Muamba, admitting he probably wasn’t as informed as he should be about the details of the recent war atrocities he had committed or the plight of the child soldiers fighting alongside him. “I know I ought to pay attention, and I genuinely feel bad about my apathy toward what’s happening, but at the end of the day, it’s just another violent conflict in Africa, you know? I just can’t keep up with all of them at this point.” Reached for comment, all of the villagers that Muamba was currently massacring echoed the rebel’s total disinterest in the African nation’s continuing political strife.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close