Congress Hires Drummer

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 7, 2014

ARIES: Your belief that nothing can stop you will be tested this week by depression, procrastination, concrete barriers, dysentery, armed gunmen, and the unanimous passage of several laws targeted specifically at stopping you.

Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 23, 2015

ARIES: The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you’re supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 9, 2015

ARIES: Your death next week will seem in­explicable until people remember the ill-advised 1985 “cross your heart and hope to die” pledge you made to be best friends with Jenny Bosben.

New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In

Declaring the event a rousing success so far, organizers confirmed more than 45,000 people turned out Wednesday for the first annual Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival, a four-day gathering that consists solely of a big empty field to do drugs in.

Director Seeking Relatively Unknown Actress For Next Affair

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’s going for a certain look and will know it when he sees it, feature film director Peter Hastings, 52, confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he hopes to find a relatively unknown actress for his next extramarital affair.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of May 26, 2015

ARIES: You’re not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity.

Famous Television Finales

The award-winning AMC series Mad Men ended its seven-season run on Sunday night and drew critical acclaim for its final episode, a conclusion that many felt was poignant and satisfying. Here are some other memorable TV finales across the years

Plan For Future Still Involves Drumming For Lifehouse

SOUTH BEND, IN—Fifteen years after first envisioning the path he hoped his professional life would take, local man Brent Gibbs is still planning his future around being the drummer for Los Angeles-based alternative rock band Lifehouse, sources confi...

Fox Revives ‘X-Files’: What To Expect

After months of speculation, Fox has announced that it is bringing back its hit ’90s TV show The X-Files, about a team of FBI special agents investigating unsolved cases about strange and paranormal phenomena, for at least six new episodes...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 24, 2015

ARIES: Your belief that everything happens for a reason may remain unshaken in the face of personal tragedy, but you'll certainly be upset when you find out the reason is "to get the Zodiac some chicks." 

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 10, 2015

ARIES: As long as people don't look too long and the lights aren't too bright, no one will be able to see where they tried to fix your face from what will happen to it this coming Thursday. 

Nation Delighted As Many Famous People In Same Room Together

HOLLYWOOD—Expressing their immense personal satisfaction at the gathering appearing on their television screens, millions of Americans across the country were reportedly delighted Sunday night upon seeing many famous people in the same room together...

Half Of Hollywood Test Group Screened Placebo Film

LOS ANGELES—Saying the methodology helps them ensure unbiased results in their marketing research, studio executives at Paramount Pictures confirmed that during a Hollywood test screening this week they showed half of all theatergoers a placebo film...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 6, 2015

ARIES: One of the worst moments of a person's life is when they finally realize that they're mortal and are going to die, especially when it's a person like you who only sees the cement truck at the last second.

A Timeline Of Upcoming Superhero Movies

Following the massive successes of the Spider-Man, Batman, Avengers, and X-Men franchises, studios Marvel and DC Entertainment have announced as many as 40 upcoming superhero movies to be released over the next six years ...

Sesame Street’s 45th Anniversary: A Look Back

Sesame Street, the long-running PBS children’s television show starring a cast of Jim Henson muppets who teach children basic learning concepts and introduce them to difficult issues, turns 45 this week.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Area Man

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Food

Congress Hires Drummer

"Drummer Joey Lombardo brings some 'serious chops' to the U.S. Congress. Sax legend David Sanborn has already promised to sit in and jam with him during next week's critical HR-32.(S) welfare vote.", "Some of the younger members of Congress have been very
"Drummer Joey Lombardo brings some 'serious chops' to the U.S. Congress. Sax legend David Sanborn has already promised to sit in and jam with him during next week's critical HR-32.(S) welfare vote.", "Some of the younger members of Congress have been very

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a decisive 376-45 vote last Friday, the United States Congress hired drummer Joey Lombardo, a professional percussionist with years of studio and touring experience. Lombardo, who has toured with such diverse artists as Kenny Loggins, Pat Benatar and Richard Marx, is expected to provide the legislative body with a variety of much-needed percussive effects.

“You wouldn’t believe how much his steady backbeat helps keep bills and budget proposals rolling along, not to mention adding some zip to those filibusters,” Sen. Alfonse D’Amato (R-NY) said. “Lombardo provides a rock-solid foundation upon which Congress can really jam.”

The seasoned studio vet, who played with Bryan Adams on the Australian leg of the star’s 1991 Waking Up the Neighbors Tour, will also provide drum rolls during key budget votes. Before the vote tally for the controversial Steffens-Hawley Welfare Bill was announced Monday, Lombardo performed a dramatic, prolonged snare drum roll, which, according to 93–year-old Sen. Strom Thurmond (R-SC), “made me tingly.”

Despite his lack of Congressional drumming experience, Lombardo is confident he has the stamina to keep up with the long-winded legislators. “When I was on Tina Turner’s Break Every Rule World Tour, we did a show in Rio that was over three and half hours. I’m confident that if I can keep up with Tina, I can keep up with Orrin Hatch and Arlen Specter.”

With his extensive experience playing live, Lombardo also brings a theatrical sensibility to Congress. When Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich recently opened session with the remark, “I know why Clinton didn’t want to play cards with me on Air Force One—he was afraid of losing all of his money!,” Lombardo was on hand with a rimshot and cymbal crash to drive home the humor.

Lombardo’s drumset, a Starclassic eight-piece kit with glitter finish and a half-dozen Zildjian cymbals, has been permanently placed where Vice President Al Gore used to sit. The top-flight set, which was profiled in the April ’91 issue of Modern Drummer, has already caught the eye of a number of lawmakers.

“Boy, I’d love to get behind those skins,” Sen. Jesse Helms (R-NC) said. Helms went on to say that if Lombardo could teach him his one-handed drumstick-twirling technique, that would be “very cool.”

Other voices in Congress are also excited by Lombardo’s presence. “The beat of the drum calls out to all peoples,” Rep. Pat Schroeder (D-CO) said. “Lombardo’s rhythms will represent the heartbeat of our great nation.” Schroeder added that in his sleeveless red mesh T-shirt and tight jeans, the sinewy Lombardo is “much easier on the eyes than Patrick Moynihan.”

Other instruments were proposed to accompany Congress, including a bass guitar, a pipe organ and a synthesizer, but it was ultimately Lombardo’s power drumming that won out.

The two-time Drum World Drummer of the Month was eager to talk about his new job.

“I’ve had a lot of tough gigs in the past, but this one tops it,” Lombardo said. “I’ll be keeping the beat for the finest product of the Enlightenment, set in motion by our forefathers, swinging with enough finesse—yet also true crushing power—in rhythm to this intricate machine of Jeffersonian thought.”

Lighting a cigarette, he added, “I hope my chops are up to it.”

A number of special musical guests have already been booked to sit in with Lombardo during lon-ger Congressional sessions. Among the artists: Tito Puente and his Latin Orchestra, Al Jarreau, and three-time Grammy-nominated saxophonist David San-born.

President Clinton offered his congratulations for the Lombardo hiring in a press release this morning. “After months of attempts to erode the American Dream with cruel budget cuts, it is heartening to see such a positive decision coming out of Congress,” Clinton said. “Ever since I caught Lombardo behind the set on The Hooters’ Nervous Night Tour, I’ve known him as an American who can really rock.”

Next Story