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Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Congress Splits Into Male And Female Senators To Discuss Newest Reproductive Bill

WASHINGTON—To better educate lawmakers on complex reproductive issues while also providing a safe, nonthreatening environment where they can speak up and ask questions without feeling self-conscious, the U.S. Senate’s 100 members were separated into male and female groups Thursday afternoon prior to arguments on S.1696, the Women’s Health Protection Act. “There’s always some giggling when the Senate debates a woman’s right to privacy and choice in reproductive matters, which is okay, but we find that everyone’s more at ease when they can talk about it with members of their own sex,” Senate Sergeant at Arms Andrew B. Willison said as the female senators were led single-file down the hall into the Senate Appropriations Committee Room where they will learn about the proposed legislation from longtime congressional leader Sen. Barbara Mikulski (D-MD). “This way both the male and female senators can open up and ask anything they want about the bill’s provisions without fear of embarrassment or teasing. For many elected officials, this is their first real introduction to a woman’s reproductive rights, so we want to make the process as comfortable for them as possible.” Sources confirmed that Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) was given a religious exemption from the discussion after providing a note from his constituents.

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