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Congress Spotted Leaving Gay Nightclub

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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Congress Spotted Leaving Gay Nightclub

WASHINGTON—According to numerous eyewitness reports, all 535 members of Congress were seen late Sunday night stumbling out of Mermaids, a gay nightclub in Washington, D.C. "Yeah, I saw them leaving there about 2 a.m.," said passerby Alex Hanvey, who told reporters he watched as a bouncer unhooked a velvet rope and helped the legislative branch of the United States government exit the club. "They hailed a cab and left with some guy." Sources later confirmed the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives had tried to give their phone number to approximately two-thirds of the club's patrons.

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