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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Congressional Candidate Forced To Explain Controversial 1971 'Fuck Everything' Remark

LITTLE ROCK, AR—U.S. Rep. Vic Snyder (D-AR) was forced to defend himself Monday against Republican opponent Marvin Parks' claim that witnesses heard Snyder say "Fuck everything" in 1971. "At least four people attest that they saw an inebriated 24-year-old Vic Snyder tell a group of fellow medical-school students, 'I'm so sick of dealing... Fuck everything,'" Snyder said. "Everything? Did Snyder mean 'fuck' middle-class families who need tax relief? Did he mean 'fuck' the nation's elderly? Does Snyder say 'fuck' the American flag?" A spokesman for Snyder said the remark made perfect sense when put in the context of finals week.

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