adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.
End Of Section
  • More News

Connect Four-Playing Sis Pretty Sneaky

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Losing Connect Four player Tony Franck denounced his sis as "pretty sneaky" following her diagonal connection of four during a kitchen-table match Tuesday. "I realize that the rules allow for a diagonal arrangement of four checkers, and I fully concede victory to my sis and acknowledge her four-connecting prowess," Franck said following the match. "Still, I maintain that a significant measure of sneakiness was key to her victory." Franck next plans to attend the U.S. Stay Alive™ Championship Tournament in Hilo, HI, vowing, "I will be the sole survivor."

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close