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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Conrad Bain Steps Down As National Kitsch-Reference Laureate

WASHINGTON, DC— Actor Conrad Bain, known to millions as Philip Drummond on the hit '70s sitcom Diff'rent Strokes, stepped down Monday from the post of National Kitsch-Reference Laureate. "I am extremely proud to have served my country for the past 11 years in my humorous-referential capacity," Bain said. "Almost as proud as I was of Willis and Arnold that time they went on the hunger strike to save the ancient Indian burial ground that my construction company was going to tear up for a new building." Bain added that he is fully confident that his successor, Ron "Horshack" Palillo, "will serve the nation with distinction and honor."

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