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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Constructionist Supreme Court To Revisit Women's Suffrage

WASHINGTON, DC—The Supreme Court, demonstrating its new constructionist leaning since the appointment of Justice Samuel Alito, will re-examine arguments behind the 19th Amendment this week. "There was no constitutional precedent for amending the law of the land so dramatically," the Heritage Foundation's Trent England said Monday. "A case could be made on social grounds, but what the Court will determine is exactly what the framers of the Constitution wanted." While it's difficult to predict an outcome, observers believe Ruth Bader Ginsburg will use her three-fifths of a vote to oppose.

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