Content Could Be Hotter, More Social

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Vol 50 Issue 05

Fun Sticker Placed On Child's Ventilator

Fifty-seven women are stoned to death during the annual Riyadh fashion week, a frantic Biden searches a dog shelter for a Bo look-alike, and a fun sticker is placed on a child’s ventilator.

Report: It Too Soon To Glance Back At Attractive Person

PORTLAND—Citing the fact that you just made eye contact with her and doing so again right away might come across as creepy, a new report released today has confirmed that it’s still too soon to glance back at the attractive person behind you.

International Olympians To Watch

With the 2014 Winter Olympics underway in Sochi, Russia, Onion Sports provides a comprehensive guide to the most exciting international athletes.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Content Could Be Hotter, More Social

WASHINGTON—According to a recent poll of various web-based media producers, content could be hotter, more social, more shareable. “While there is certainly buzzworthy content out there, some of which is even snackable, I do think content in general could be more relevant, more bite-size, and make a stronger brand impression with trending keywords and a more responsive design,” poll respondent Mark Zeligman told reporters, noting that the last piece of content he came across was an infographic that was neither flexible, timely, viral, nor engineered to maximize reader engagement. “After all, can we honestly say the content that’s out there right now is as buzzworthy and highly shareable as it could be? Does it inform, engage, and convert? Is it digestible? Does it both increase impressions and amplify the brand? I think you’ll find the answer is no.” At press time, poll respondents reported that when it comes to content, you gotta start thinking more bullet points, more lists, more visuals, more short-form, more microcontent.

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