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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Content Writer Awkwardly Shows Parents Around Website Where He Works

NEW YORK—Finally giving in to their requests to visit his place of employment, local content writer Adam Lundey awkwardly showed his parents around the website where he works, sources confirmed Thursday. “This is the home page, which is like the main area, but I generally spend most of my day to the side in the blog—that guy Doug I might’ve mentioned has that post right by mine,” said Lundey, whose tour of his workplace also included brief stops at the About Us page and the links index. “Over here’s the masthead, where most of the managers and VPs are. And, if you really want, I can take you guys to the back-end development system, but I usually don’t get over there very much.” At press time, despite their son’s protests, Lundey’s parents were insisting on dropping by the comments section.

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