MILWAUKEE—Marveling at his extraordinary ability to learn the ropes at the technology firm and quickly fit right in with the rest of his colleagues, sources at Starpoint Solutions confirmed Thursday that impressive new hire Eric Myers has already figured out the bare minimum of work his job requires on the very first day.
NASHVILLE—In what onlookers described as an epic war for conversational dominance, girlfriend Amy Soisson, 28, clawed, battled, and interrupted her way to complete control of an anecdote started Wednesday by her boyfriend, Greg Harvey, 29. According to sources, Harvey was in strong command of the tale's settings and plot points until a brief hiccup in detail gave Soisson an opening to pry custody of the anecdote from Harvey's still gaping mouth. After several futile attempts to recapture the story at its climax, a weary and broken Harvey fell again and again to his girlfriend's ruthless strategy of speaking over him in increasingly louder tones. The long and arduous contest of wills reportedly concluded with Soisson ascending to the rank of sole storyteller, forcing Harvey to retreat to the kitchen and share the anecdote with friends there.