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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Corn Lobby Tightens The Screws

WASHINGTON, DC—Representatives from the National Corn Growers Association put the screws to several U.S. senators in a meeting held at an undisclosed Washington hotel Monday. "If you guys don't support an increase in the National Plant Genome Initiative budget, we'll shuck you like an ear of freshly roasted Iowa sweet," NCGA CEO Rick Tolm said, idly twirling a double-pronged, cob-shaped corn holder in his hand. Senators reportedly promised they'd vote for the budget increase after Tolm threatened to throw them in hot oil and watch them pop.
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