Corn Lobby Tightens The Screws

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Vol 42 Issue 03

Death With Dignity Upheld

The Supreme Court upheld Oregon's Death With Dignity Act, a law that enables Oregon doctors to help terminally ill patients die. What do you...

Latin America Leaning Left

With the election of Socialist pediatrician Michelle Bachelet in Chile, Latin America is leaning further to the left. What do you think?

Patriots' 2006 Victory Parade Awkward, Sparsely Attended

BOSTON—Poor player attendance, negligible fan turnout, and a marked lack of general enthusiasm marred the New England Patriots' annual season-ending parade through the streets of Boston Monday in what is being regarded as the worst such parade in the last three years.
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Corn Lobby Tightens The Screws

WASHINGTON, DC—Representatives from the National Corn Growers Association put the screws to several U.S. senators in a meeting held at an undisclosed Washington hotel Monday. "If you guys don't support an increase in the National Plant Genome Initiative budget, we'll shuck you like an ear of freshly roasted Iowa sweet," NCGA CEO Rick Tolm said, idly twirling a double-pronged, cob-shaped corn holder in his hand. Senators reportedly promised they'd vote for the budget increase after Tolm threatened to throw them in hot oil and watch them pop.
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