adBlockCheck

Recent News

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.
End Of Section
  • More News

Country Music Protested In Restaurant's Kitchen

KALAMAZOO. MI—A coalition of dishwashers at the Pfaff Avenue Country Kitchen filed an official protest Tuesday against the grill crew's playing of 93.7 Hot Country on the kitchen radio. "Duuude," dishwasher spokesman Dave Stamm said, "enough country, already." The group is calling for the radio to be switched to WKLQ 94.5, Home of the Real Rock, for the love of Christ.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close