adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
End Of Section
  • More News

Couple At Point Where They're Comfortable Using Toilet At Same Time

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Saying they had reached a point in their relationship where they were comfortable around each other at all times, local couple Adam Eickholt, 30, and Erin LeDuc, 28, told reporters Thursday they no longer have a problem using the toilet at the same time. “When we first started dating four years ago, we would always wait until the other had gotten off the toilet before we would even think of using it ourselves, but after a couple years living together, it was just like, ‘Who cares?’” said LeDuc, claiming that her and her boyfriend’s simultaneous use of the toilet had, over time, just become part of their normal routine. “It’s perfectly natural, and it’s not like it’s anything we haven’t seen before. So now, if I need to relieve myself while Adam’s already using the toilet, I just sit right down and go. It’s no big deal.” LeDuc and Eickholt later stated, however, that while they know it’s something most couples are okay with these days, using the same sheets of toilet paper is a line they just won’t cross.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings