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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Couple Discovers Shop That Sells Cakes

PORTLAND, OR—Local couple Rich and Kelly Danvers were "delighted" Monday upon discovering a small, quaint retail location in their neighborhood that sells cakes. "Look, a cake shop," said Kelly Danvers, who agreed with her husband that it was nice to have such a business in their neighborhood. "We'll have to check that out sometime." The couple told reporters they would "definitely" keep the place in mind the next time they need to buy a cake.

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