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Couple Doesn't Deserve Deck

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Charles Koch Orders Sniper To Fire Warning Shot Next To Marco Rubio On Debate Stage

GREENVILLE, SC—In response to the presidential candidate’s unsatisfactory answer to a question about the economic effects of environmental regulations, Koch Industries CEO Charles Koch reportedly ordered a sniper positioned in the rafters of the Greenville Peace Center to fire a warning shot near Marco Rubio’s podium during Saturday’s Republican debate.
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Couple Doesn't Deserve Deck

LUBBOCK, TX—A coalition of residents at the Winding Brook subdivision announced Monday that neighbors Stanley and Janet Mann do not deserve their new 120-square-foot teak-stained redwood deck. "What does Stan need a deck that big for, anyway—that little bitty Weber grill?" said home-owners' association treasurer Shelly Pierce at a conference in her gazebo. "And Janet? Does she even work in the summers? Teachers are obviously overpaid in this country." The group stopped short of approving a plan to set the new deck on fire.

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