ELMHURST, IL—Furrowing his brow and nodding along to his wife’s pricing and location concerns Tuesday, local man Grant Foster’s sole contribution to the search for a new home has reportedly been to periodically tell his wife he wishes he knew how to help.
LUBBOCK, TX—A coalition of residents at the Winding Brook subdivision announced Monday that neighbors Stanley and Janet Mann do not deserve their new 120-square-foot teak-stained redwood deck. "What does Stan need a deck that big for, anyway—that little bitty Weber grill?" said home-owners' association treasurer Shelly Pierce at a conference in her gazebo. "And Janet? Does she even work in the summers? Teachers are obviously overpaid in this country." The group stopped short of approving a plan to set the new deck on fire.