PHILADELPHIA—Struggling to free himself from the tightly wound lengths of rope binding his wrists and ankles together, bruised and gagged Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Julian Castro was reportedly horrified by what his identical twin brother, Rep. Joaquin Castro (D-TX), might be out doing on the floor of the DNC Thursday.
LUBBOCK, TX—A coalition of residents at the Winding Brook subdivision announced Monday that neighbors Stanley and Janet Mann do not deserve their new 120-square-foot teak-stained redwood deck. "What does Stan need a deck that big for, anyway—that little bitty Weber grill?" said home-owners' association treasurer Shelly Pierce at a conference in her gazebo. "And Janet? Does she even work in the summers? Teachers are obviously overpaid in this country." The group stopped short of approving a plan to set the new deck on fire.