Couple Excited To Start Planning Wedding Expenses

Top Headlines

Recent News

What Smoking A Cigarette Does To The Body

With the FDA recently pulling multiple cigarette brands off the market, the conversation surrounding the harmful effects of smoking has been returning in full force to the national stage. Here is what happens to your body as you smoke a cigarette

Childish 12-Year-Old Still Believes In Father

HARTFORD, CT—Saying she just assumed he would have figured it out by now, local mother Kathleen Rivers expressed concern to reporters Tuesday that her 12-year-old son, Dylan, still believes in his father.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Couple Excited To Start Planning Wedding Expenses

DENVER—Shortly after local woman Mary Ann Burnett accepted the marriage proposal of longtime boyfriend Dave Ellsworth during a dinner date Wednesday night, the smiling couple announced they couldn’t wait to get started planning their wedding expenses together. “I’ve been dreaming of this special day’s financial burden ever since I was a little girl, and now I finally get to shoulder it,” said Burnett, noting that she and Ellsworth were thrilled to begin leafing through magazines and picking out invitations, flower arrangements, cake, and all the other personalized touches that quickly add up as they put together the most costly moment of their lives. “We already have our hearts set on this perfect little venue beyond our means, and tomorrow I’ll start shopping for the priciest dress I’ll ever wear. Then Dave and I can discuss what painfully expensive dinner options we want for 120 people, or whether to go with an overpriced DJ or an unaffordable band—basically just come to a consensus about how exactly we want to spend a sum of money in a single night that could otherwise be used as a down payment on a house.” The couple affirmed they wanted to get the exorbitant ceremony just right, as it represents the debt they’re solemnly entering into for the rest of their lives.