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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Couple Should Get Dinner With Other Couple, Couple Reports

OAKLAND, CA—Emphasizing that they, too, were a couple, local couple John and Kendra Wilkins suggested to couple Peter and McKenzie Kerns on Monday that the two couples get dinner together sometime, the couple confirmed. “We are a couple and you are also a couple, so we should go to dinner together as two couples,” the couple recommended to the other couple, noting that the two couples could also go out to drinks together or meet with a third couple. “We can update you on what we’ve been doing as a couple and you can update us on what you’ve been doing as a couple, and if our experiences overlap, we can discuss how we enjoyed our experiences as a couple relative to how you enjoyed your experiences as a couple. At the end of the dinner, we can talk about how nice it is to socialize with other couples, suggest getting together as couples again soon, and leave in our respective coupled pairings.” At press time, the couples confirmed plans to retain their mutual bond as couples until one couple became parents, at which point they would fall out of touch until the other couple became parents, and then they would all agree to meet up and socialize as parents.

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