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Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real Hard

Potentially offering hope to millions of Americans struggling with psychological and emotional problems, a study published this week in The New England Journal Of Medicine found that test subjects were capable of fully resolving their anxiety by thinking ...

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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Couple Sneaks Away From Party For A Little Arguing

PHILADELPHIA—After consuming numerous alcoholic beverages and repeatedly locking eyes throughout the night, area couple Tracy Williams and Steve Stills were reportedly so overcome with passion Saturday that they slipped out of Dana Leink's 26th birthday party for a quick 20 minutes of raucous fighting. "There was definitely some electricity between the two of them," said Kelly Brandt, adding that nothing could have stopped the couple from "going at it" for a while. "Tracy and Steve are so intense—I'm not surprised they couldn't keep their hands off each other." According to those in attendance, everyone inside the party could hear the fiery couple's moans as their bodies repeatedly slammed against the wall.

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