Couple Unable To Conceive Of Child

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Vol 44 Issue 12

Daddy Put In Bye-Bye Box

ITHACA, NY—"I'm going to be the big boy of the house until he gets back," said 5-year-old Ryan Lewis, whose daddy now resides in a cool underground fort.

Clinton Wants New Primary

Hillary Clinton is calling on Barack Obama to overturn the ruling of the Democratic party and concede to accepting the "do-over" primaries of Florida...

Tyler Hansbrough

It's uplifting to see his kind of intensity and passion, but what does that have to do with sports?
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Couple Unable To Conceive Of Child

FREEPORT, ME—After six months of attempting to conceive of having children, local couple Beth and Nathan Jablonski told reporters Monday that they are still no closer to implanting the notion. "We try almost every night," said a visibly frustrated Nathan, whose underdeveloped sense of responsibility, coupled with Beth's less-than-fertile imagination, is partly to blame for the Jablonskis' current situation. "But time after time, the whole idea is suddenly aborted before it has a chance to grow." The couple said that they are considering adopting a new life philosophy, but, due to Beth's blackened, withered ovaries, the point remains irrelevant.
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