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Cowboys Award 6-Year, $108 Million Extension To Super Bowl–Watching Quarterback Tony Romo

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Cowboys Award 6-Year, $108 Million Extension To Super Bowl–Watching Quarterback Tony Romo

IRVING, TX—In an effort to prevent the multiple championship–viewing player from reaching free agency, the Dallas Cowboys announced this week that the team had signed Super Bowl–watching quarterback Tony Romo to a six-year, $108 million contract extension. “Tony has already watched seven Super Bowls for us,” said Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who acknowledged that the most lucrative contract in team history will put extra pressure on Romo to continue watching championships. “He was born to watch the Super Bowl, he’s proven himself capable of it, and we are confident that the next few years will see Tony Romo watch many, many more Super Bowls as a Dallas Cowboy.” Jones added that a major focus for the team this season will be on keeping Tony Romo healthy so that he can watch the entire 2014 playoffs.

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