adBlockCheck

Coworker Even A Dick In His Expense Reports

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Coworker Even A Dick In His Expense Reports

LIVONIA, MI—Charging his transportation, lodging, and entertainment costs to his company's expense account is just one more opportunity for Soar Electronics sales representative Shaun Millsen to be a total cock, according to controller Joe Borowski, who provided Millsen's expense notes from a recent sales trip Monday. "Extra transpo. charge applies for black airport limo after first limo, white, had to be sent back, obviously. Entertainment exp. for bullshit client, $650," read an excerpt. Said Borowski: "He didn't even have receipts for most of them besides." Borowski added that, judging by the frequency and quantity of Millsen's room-service drink orders, he is also a complete dick to his wife.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close