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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Coworker Running NCAA Tournament Pool Really Relishing His One Week Of Significance

EVENSVILLE, TN—According to sources at local public relations firm Dolan-Cassidy, employee Ian Novak, 38, is positively basking in the solitary week of importance he experiences as organizer of his office’s NCAA Tournament pool. “Hey, close call for Miami last night,” said the suddenly noticeable Novak, luxuriating in one of the few precious days out of the year when he is not completely ignored by coworkers. “Man, we’ve had some wild ones this year, haven’t we? I’ll be watching the game at Flannery’s tonight, if anyone’s interested.” At press time, the fleetingly relevant man was being simply lavished with attention from a colleague asking him if he could print out another bracket.

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