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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Coworkers Unable To Put Finger On What's Weird About Gary

WANTAGH, NY–For the third straight week, Gary Thurlow's coworkers at Liberty Travel remain unable to pin down what's weird about him. "I can't quite put my finger on it," Jessica Spivak said, "but there's something kinda odd." Explanations have included his mode of dress, the way he sits, the tenor of his voice, and that thing he does with his hands.

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