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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Coy 'Dexter' Producers Hint At 'Huge Plot Holes' In Season Finale

LOS ANGELES—Promising “jaw-dropping inconsistencies” and “flaws in the story line you never saw coming,” producers of the Showtime series Dexter offered fans a teasing look at the season-seven finale today, hinting to reporters that the Dec. 16 episode will contain multiple plot holes viewers won’t want to miss. “I can’t reveal too much, but fans should prepare to have their patience strained to the extreme as this season reaches its mind-bending and completely unbelievable conclusion,” series creator James Manos dished to the entertainment website TVLine, adding that the jam-packed episode offers fans “shocking narrative gap after shocking narrative gap.” “If you thought the end of season six was blatantly unconvincing, then this time your mind will truly be blown. You won’t believe how we destroy the continuity established over this past season and push all the pieces of the puzzle farther apart. At the end of the night, viewers will be saying, ‘How did they do that? And why?’” Manos added that fans will have plenty of time to discuss the finale before the premiere of season eight, when “all their questions will be left unanswered.”

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