Cracks In Facade Visible As Teen Enters Third Day Vacationing With Friend’s Family

Top Headlines



Tips For Traveling With Young Children

Family vacations can be a time for bonding and building lasting memories, but when young children are involved, trips can also be stressful to plan and execute. Here are The Onion’s tips for traveling with kids

Tips For Cheaper Airfare

Whether the busy travel season, fuel prices, or airline collusion is to blame, airfare is currently very pricey, making traveling more difficult. The Onion walks you through some ways to reduce the cost of flying

Keeping Your Possessions Safe While Traveling

Traveling during the summer can be fun and exhilarating, but nothing ruins a trip like getting your possessions stolen. Whether you’re hiking, road-tripping, or relaxing at a resort, here are some tips for making sure your items are safe during your travels:

Parents Worried Children Old Enough To Remember Family Vacation

YOUNGSTOWN, OH—Fearing that their kids’ impressions of the experience could quite possibly remain with them for the rest of their lives, parents Joel and Bethany Weyandt told reporters Tuesday they are worried their children are old enough to remember the details of their recent family vacation.

Child Visiting Ellis Island Sees Where Grandparents Once Toured

ELLIS ISLAND, NY—Pausing to imagine the throngs of people who must have arrived with them that day back in 1994, 12-year-old Max Bertrand reportedly spent his visit to Ellis Island this afternoon walking around the same immigrant station his grandparents once toured.

Spring Break Safety Tips

Spring break is an opportunity for many college students to travel, party, and make memories with their friends, but it can also lead to problems if people aren’t careful.

People Apparently Been Using Rest Stop Barbecue Pit

GREENVILLE, SC—Scrutinizing the ashes of charcoal briquettes inside the weathered firebox, motorist Matt Palmeri reportedly deduced Thursday that people traveling southbound along Interstate 85 have apparently been using the rest stop’s barbec...

Florida Resort Allows Guests To Swim With Miami Dolphins

MIAMI—Describing it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get up close to the majestic mammals, visitors to Paradise Cove Resort raved to reporters Thursday about the hotel’s new program that allows guests to swim with the Miami Dolphins.

Humble Ascetic Declines In-Flight Beverage Service

NEW YORK—Choosing to fast in an apparent attempt to reach an elevated plane of existence, humble ascetic Jonathan Weaver declined the complimentary snack and beverage service during his flight from New York to Atlanta, sources confirmed Wednesday.

Last-Minute Holiday Travel Tips

Whether you’re rerouting canceled flights or changing destinations on the fly, nothing can be more stressful during the holidays than making travel arrangements at the last minute.

New National Park Caters To Business Travelers

PAICINES, CA—Hoping to encourage more busy professionals to visit America’s scenic natural areas, the Department of Interior announced this week the opening of Pinnacles National Park Express, the first federally designated preserve geared spe...

Area Mom Raving About Phoenix Airport

AURORA, IL—Noting its impressive collection of shops, restaurants, and transit options during a phone call with her daughter, local mother Carol Wingfield expressed her admiration for Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport in the strongest terms, ...

Busch Gardens Unveils New 9,600-Mile-Long Endurance Coaster

TAMPA, FL—Marking a bold new direction in amusement ride innovation, representatives from Busch Gardens officially opened a 9,600-mile-long mega-coaster Thursday designed to push the limits of human endurance. According to park officials, the Stamin...

Dad Clarifies This Not A Food Stop

DENTON, TX—Stressing that they were there solely to purchase gasoline and use the bathroom if necessary, area dad Mike Whitcomb clarified while pulling into a travel plaza Thursday that this was not a food stop.

Planning The Perfect Road Trip

With summer fast approaching, many people are planning long car trips to visit tourist attractions, see old friends, or simply hit the open road.

Visit Home Referred To As Vacation By Parents

PINE BLUFF, AR—Telling their son he should take it easy because he deserves it, the parents of 26-year-old Austin, TX resident Jason Gibney referred to the time he spent visiting his family in Arkansas over the Easter weekend as a vacation, househol...

Pilot Tells Passengers He’s About To Try Something

SAN FRANCISCO—Midway through American Airlines flight 1544’s journey from San Francisco to Dallas Monday, pilot Mark Dams asked passengers to please remain seated and fasten their seat belts for a minute while he tries something real quick.

The Onion’s Tips For Traveling Over The Holidays

You never know when you’ll get stranded at an airport or train station, so make sure you don’t go hungry by packing two large burlap sacks full of steak meat and apples. Exchange knowing glances with the TSA agent. You’re one of the goo...

Germ-Free Haven!

Tired of trying to stay clean all the time? Try this completely germ-free dwelling in the heart of the Arctic Circle, where no germs can survive!

Under The Porch

Listen to the soothing sounds of conversations with people who don’t know you can hear them while sitting on an old tarp near some cinderblocks.

A Tent In The Backyard!

Why can’t I just camp out in the backyard? Come on, it’s warm enough! Jared could stay over and we won’t be too loud.

San Francisco: The City By The Bay

This one-of-a-kind place offers food, sites, and people specific to it. There are ways to get alcohol and beds to sleep in at night, and the weather may be favorable depending on when you visit.

SeaWorld To Discontinue Great White Shark Ride

ORLANDO, FL—Citing flagging popularity and recurrent technical problems over the attraction’s 10-year run, SeaWorld Orlando announced that it will permanently shutter its great white shark ride, officials for the theme park announced Tuesday.

Everyone On Flight Annoyed By Screaming Kid Rock

LOS ANGELES—Passengers on flight 657 from Detroit to Los Angeles confirmed Wednesday that the trip was repeatedly disrupted by the noisy and obnoxious behavior of an annoying Kid Rock seated in the fifth row.

STD Had Awesome Time On Spring Break

PANAMA CITY, FL—Following a weeklong vacation in Florida, local sexually transmitted disease gonorrhea announced it had an awesome time during this year’s spring break.

Albany Bucket Museum

Learn about the history of buckets with a self-guided tour through the museum's four fascinating exhibits, then sit down and watch the hourly documentary about buckets and their role in winning America's independence.


Let’s go! Come on, it’ll be fun. Have you ever been to the Lucky Star Lanes? They turn on a bunch of neon lights and play disco music after 9!

Land Land

Come explore the world’s only theme park dedicated to fun with land! Ride the Topsoil Coaster, make your own map, and learn how many pounds of seed you’ll need per acre!
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage





Cracks In Facade Visible As Teen Enters Third Day Vacationing With Friend’s Family

Phelps says that after hearing a recent exchange of bitter remarks during a day hike, she’s beginning to rethink her image of the Matthiesons as a perpetually happy, good-natured family.
Phelps says that after hearing a recent exchange of bitter remarks during a day hike, she’s beginning to rethink her image of the Matthiesons as a perpetually happy, good-natured family.

LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE, NH—As she entered her third day vacationing with the family of friend and classmate Jessica Matthieson, 15-year-old Kayla Phelps confided to reporters Tuesday that cracks had begun to emerge in the facade of domestic harmony that the Matthiesons had consistently projected.

Phelps, who prior to the present trip had never spent more than a few hours at a time with the family of four, confirmed that several cold stares and emotional outbursts she has witnessed so far at the Matthiesons’ rented lakeside cabin have led her to believe her friend’s home life may not be as happy as she had always assumed.

“I’ve been to Jessica’s house for dinner before, and her family always seemed really sweet and nice, but I’m starting to see a different side out here,” said Phelps, remarking that midway through the weeklong vacation the Matthiesons appeared to have become less adept at keeping up their usual appearances. “I used to think her dad was pretty funny, but now I’m starting to wonder if maybe his jokes are just mean. He teases Jessica’s mom a lot, and she almost never laughs along with him. When she does, I’m pretty sure she’s faking it.”

“And [Jessica’s 12-year-old brother] Joshua has been acting really weird ever since we got here,” the teen continued. “He’s super quiet all the time and has been in bed by eight o’clock every night. It’s kind of strange.”

During the three-hour drive to the lake, Carolyn Matthieson, 42, reportedly snapped a few times at her husband Ted Matthieson, complaining about his driving and getting in an argument over directions, but Phelps said she didn’t think much of it until the group arrived at the cabin and Carolyn threw down her luggage, walked directly into a bedroom, and slammed the door.

Citing further evidence of trouble brewing beneath the surface, Phelps stated that the Matthiesons rarely make eye contact when they speak to each other, something she had never noticed before, though she has known the family since she and Jessica became friends in sixth grade. She also said Jessica’s parents often step outside onto the cabin’s deck to trade whispered, harsh-sounding words, leading her to suspect there may be something really serious going on that she knows nothing about.

According to Phelps, her friend also spends the majority of her days vindictively calling her younger brother a “friendless freak” and finding other ways to push his buttons, having seemingly made him angry “just for the fun of it” throughout the family’s recent day at the public beach, during lunches on the outdoor picnic table, and even while he’s simply sitting alone at the end of the property’s dock.

“Jessica’s dad spends all day fishing, and he doesn’t even seem to care when no one wants to go with him,” said Phelps, affirming that the 43-year-old displays no outward signs of enjoying himself while methodically engaging in the activity. “And Jessica’s mom keeps making up excuses to go run errands in town, but half the time she doesn’t actually buy anything. At lunch yesterday, she suggested taking a drive up into the mountains, but when Jessica and Joshua both just kind of shrugged, she suddenly got up from the table without saying anything and started doing the dishes.”

“Then last night at dinner, the four of them went practically the entire meal without saying a word,” she added. “Back home, they’d always at least talk about their day.”

The high school freshman confirmed that the family’s veneer of tranquility had worn thinner each day, and that she worries about how tense the situation might become if rainy weather forces them to stay inside the cabin together for an entire 24-hour period. Noting that she had never seen Jessica and her mother argue before, Phelps also told reporters that this morning she walked in on a hushed exchange between the two of them on the screened-in porch, during which her friend said, “This happens every time—every time,” before storming out toward the lake as her mother started crying.

Reached for comment, both Matthieson parents said absolutely everyone was having a great time on the trip and it was without a doubt shaping up to be their best family vacation ever.

Travel Video