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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Craigslist Apartment Listing Uses Record 354 Exclamation Points

SAN FRANCISCO—A Craigslist advertisement for a two-bedroom apartment in San Francisco's Castro district has set an all-time Internet record for exclamation-point usage with 354, the Bureau Of Statistics reported Tuesday. "The 28 exclamation points following the lead phrase, 'MUST SEE,' were excessive, but not record-breaking," said BOS statistician Randall Carrey. "But within the ad itself, the word 'nice' is in all caps and followed by 354 marks. Quite extraordinary." The previous online record, 312, was set in a 2003 eBay listing for Camaro parts.

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