Crazy Japanese Punk Girl Delights Entire Dorm Floor

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Vol 37 Issue 45

Michael Jackson Deposed As King Of Pop In Hitless Coup

LOS ANGELES— After a two-decade reign as King Of Pop, Michael Jackson was overthrown Tuesday in a hitless coup. "Following the lackluster performance of Invincible and its mildly received 'You Rock My World' single, Michael has lost the support of the populace necessary to maintain his throne," said Billboard magazine pop-political analyst Daniel Farrior. "To be honest, it's amazing he held onto his kingship after Blood On The Dance Floor." Upon learning of the coup, millions of music fans stormed the nation's music stores, carrying off armloads of CDs by artists other than Jackson.

Area Woman Insists On Helping Coworker Through Personal Crisis

EL PASO, TX— At a time when she would rather be left alone, recent divorcee Denise Jacoby, 42, is finding herself besieged by unsolicited offers of help from Birds Eye Foods coworker Donna Traschel. "If she tells me that she's there for me anytime—day or night—one more time, I'm gonna strangle her," Jacoby said. "She's already lent me three different books on coping with change and overcoming loss. What do I have to do to make her understand that I don't want an ear to bend or a shoulder to lean on?"

More Mideast Violence

Last week, Hamas suicide bombers killed 25 in Jerusalem and Haifa, and Israel retaliated with air strikes. What do you think about the latest wave of Mideast bloodshed?

The Segway

Unveiled last week, the Segway Human Transporter is being touted as the future of human transportation. What are some of the much-hyped electrical scooter’s features?

Winterized!

Hola, amigos. Everything cool? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things have kinda gotten out of control on Anchower Lane. (That ain't actually where I live—I don't think there are any streets named Anchower Lane, at least not 'til I die.) But I'm not about to tell people where I actually live. For one thing, I don't want people stopping by my pad at all hours of the day, telling me they love my writing or stealing my beer or informing me that I'm six months late on payments. Plus, there are these guys I had a bit of an altercation with last week who'd love to take a poke at me, and I ain't about to help them out.
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Crazy Japanese Punk Girl Delights Entire Dorm Floor

MOORHEAD, MN—Foreign student Misako Takashima, 19, continues to delight third-floor residents of Carlson Hall with her crazy-Japanese-punk-girl antics, Concordia College sources reported Monday.

Beloved Carlson Hall resident Misako Takashima.

"Everybody loves Misako," said sophomore Jenn Erickson, 20, speaking from the third-floor lounge. "She's always acting all crazy, running around and making everyone laugh. We're so lucky to have her on our floor."

Takashima, a sophomore who has not yet declared a major, transferred from Japan's Osaka University at the beginning of the fall semester. She immediately stood out among her Concordia classmates, not just for being Japanese, but for her exuberant behavior and eccentric dress, which includes knee-high vinyl boots, ripped skirts and T-shirts, and magenta-streaked hair.

"I tell my father I want to go to New York City for school, and he say, 'No way!'" said Takashima, shaking her finger and frowning in imitation of her stern father. "So I go to Minnesota. It's good here, too. It snows, and everything is white! Then we have snowball fight!"

While most Concordia students take pains to seem mature, Takashima is unafraid to embrace her whimsical side: She makes chalk drawings on the sidewalk, puts on impromptu puppet shows, and takes pictures of her dormmates' bare feet and tapes them to her door.

According to Erickson, who lived in Carlson Hall last year, the third floor is "about 20 times more fun" since Takashima arrived.

"Last year was so bad around here: Everyone broke into these little cliques and hated each other," Erickson said. "But this year, it's completely different. We all get along great. That's totally due to Misako."

In addition to fostering floor-wide friendship, Takashima has broadened her dormmates' horizons, introducing them to numerous Japanese pop-cultural staples.

"Misako's room is so great," said freshman Rachel Alarie, 18. "She's got cool toys all over the place, like stacks of these Japanese comic books called manga and posters for weird Japanese cartoon movies. And she has a PlayStation that only plays Japanese games. Everyone's completely addicted to this one weird game where a little man shaped like a domino walks through a grocery store. Once I stayed up until 3 a.m. playing it."

Takashima's offbeat interests are matched by equally offbeat behavior. Often, she will spontaneously scream with delight or run in circles, attracting the attention of strangers. But despite such over-the-top antics, Takashima, her classmates agreed, is one of the nicest people they have ever met.

"Some people can be so stuck-up, but Misako is nice to everyone," said Chelsea Mason, 18. "Misako's mom mails her junk food with Asian writing on the packages. If she knows you're having a bad day, she'll hang some little candies on your doorknob with a note that says, 'Cheer up, my friend! Do not be sad!'"

When she makes phone calls home to Japan, Takashima loves to pass the phone to her new American friends so they can talk to her brother Ryunosuke.

"Ryunosuke sounds so cute," said Alarie, one of the many third-floor residents who has a long-distance crush on Takashima's brother. "He's 20. I told him he should fly to Minnesota for our Christmas party."

The floor's resident administrator, 23-year-old graduate student Erin Lorimer, said she expects the upcoming holiday party to be a big success, thanks in no small part to Takashima.

"At Christmas in the quad, there's a contest for the best-decorated lounge, and I know we're going to win," Lorimer said. "Misako taught us origami, and we decorated the tree and with hundreds of little white birds. Then we made a sign that says 'Peace On Earth' in English and Japanese. She's so awesome."

Unfortunately, not all Concordia students are lucky enough to live in Takashima's dorm. Stephanie Yoder, a Wycliff Hall resident, expressed jealousy of her Carlson Hall counterparts.

"I wish we could have [Misako] for our dorm," Yoder said. "We have a girl from Germany on fourth floor, but she's really shy. She's got a single [occupancy room] and hardly ever comes out."

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