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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Criss Angel's Nephew Forced To Sit Through Another Lame Mindfreak

EAST MEADOW, NY—Sixteen-year-old Jake Howell groaned and rolled his eyes Monday evening as he was subjected to another embarrassing performance by his uncle, famed illusionist Criss Angel. "When I was younger, it was cool when he'd crank up some thrash metal, cut open his forearm, and remove a penny he'd just swallowed inscribed with my initials, but now I'm just like, come on, leave me alone and eat your dinner like a normal person," said Howell, who has requested he not be seated next to Angel during Thanksgiving this year. "I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending like he's freaking my mind." Debbie Howell, Criss' sister, added that while she too finds her brother's antics tiresome, she's just grateful he finally has a job with health insurance.

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