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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Criss Angel's Nephew Forced To Sit Through Another Lame Mindfreak

EAST MEADOW, NY—Sixteen-year-old Jake Howell groaned and rolled his eyes Monday evening as he was subjected to another embarrassing performance by his uncle, famed illusionist Criss Angel. "When I was younger, it was cool when he'd crank up some thrash metal, cut open his forearm, and remove a penny he'd just swallowed inscribed with my initials, but now I'm just like, come on, leave me alone and eat your dinner like a normal person," said Howell, who has requested he not be seated next to Angel during Thanksgiving this year. "I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending like he's freaking my mind." Debbie Howell, Criss' sister, added that while she too finds her brother's antics tiresome, she's just grateful he finally has a job with health insurance.

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