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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.
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Critics Accuse Joe Biden Of Running For President For Political Reasons

WASHINGTON, DC—Veteran presidential candidate Sen. Joseph Biden (D-DE) is once again facing criticism that his bid for the nation's highest office is based solely on political reasons. "This campaign is nothing more than a naked power-grab by a man who wants only to pursue his own leadership agendas by heading the nation's executive branch," said Stephen F. Hayes, a senior writer for The Weekly Standard, on NBC's Meet The Press. "Don't be fooled: Biden's ambitions also include exercising veto power over Congress, appointing Supreme Court justices, and even assuming the rank of commander-in-chief of our armed forces if it means he can exert his will over national policy." Biden, who encountered similar accusations during his first presidential run in 1988, once again declined to respond to the allegations, only saying that he wished to make America a stronger nation and a better place to live.

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Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

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