adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
End Of Section
  • More News

Croatian Prime Minister Currently Stuck Under Pile Of Turnips

ZAGREB, CROATIA—Sources within the Croatian government confirmed today that Prime Minister Zoran Milanović is currently stuck under a massive pile of turnips. "Help!" the prime minister said after a horse-drawn turnip wagon tipped over and trapped him beneath what appeared to be thousands of pounds of the bulbous root vegetable. "Get these turnips off of me!" At press time, a rescue crew had successfully provided Milanović with a supply of paprika so that he could begin eating his way out.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close