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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Crullers Explained

ST. PAUL, MN—After mentioning the deep-fat-fried pastry in conversation and drawing a blank stare, local man Greg Weinberg proceeded to explain crullers to his friend Jeffrey Tomlinson, sources confirmed Monday. “It’s sort of like a donut, but braided,” said Weinberg, who went on to describe the dessert as “basically a bunch of dough all twisted together.” “They’re good. You should try one.” At press time, Tomlinson had reportedly tried a cruller.

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