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Crystal Meth Hallucinations League Power Rankings - Week 2

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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Crystal Meth Hallucinations League Power Rankings - Week 2

1. Travis Wojkowski
-LAST WEEK: 2
-Wojkowski finally gets to number one on our power rankings after a strong week getting into a fistfight with his door and chasing an angry rainforest out of his bathroom.

2. Forrest Wasmer
-LAST WEEK: 11
-Big week for Wasmer, who finally broke into the top five with an incredible performance frantically feeling up a mailbox he believed to be his teenage sister.

3. Devin Vahey
-LAST WEEK: 3
-Vahey holds serve with a solid but unspectacular showing, shoving his hand down a garbage disposal he believed to be a large bird's mouth, but catching himself before he flipped the switch.

4. Owen Stanwood
-LAST WEEK: 1
-Remains to be seen if Stanwood can recover after setting fire to his legs and hallucinating the flames as a comfortable blanket.

5. Jeannie Tegurt
-LAST WEEK: Unranked
-Ever since Tammy Tegurt, her mother and former partner on the women’s doubles hallucination circuit died after running through a plate glass window, Jeannie’s been the Tegurt to watch.

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