'CSI' Set To Perform At Super Bowl Halftime Show

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Highlights From ‘Go Set A Watchman’

Harper Lee’s buzzed-about new release, Go Set A Watchman, went on sale last week, taking the world by storm with its new investigations of Scout Finch as a grown woman and its divisive portrayal of her father, Atticus Finch, as a racist figure. Here are some highlights from the new book:

Leonardo DiCaprio Agrees To Donate It-Factor To Science

LOS ANGELES—Saying the gift would immeasurably improve their understanding of the ineffable quality that makes certain big-screen stars positively radiate, researchers at the University of California Los Angeles announced Tuesday that A-list actor Leonardo DiCaprio has agreed to donate his it-factor to science.

How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Comic-Con Survival Guide

San Diego Comic-Con is expected to draw more than 130,000 fans to Southern California this year to participate in cosplaying, attend panels, go to film screenings, and learn more about their favorite series. Here are some tips for surviving the four-day conference

Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 7, 2014

ARIES: Your belief that nothing can stop you will be tested this week by depression, procrastination, concrete barriers, dysentery, armed gunmen, and the unanimous passage of several laws targeted specifically at stopping you.

Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 23, 2015

ARIES: The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you’re supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 9, 2015

ARIES: Your death next week will seem in­explicable until people remember the ill-advised 1985 “cross your heart and hope to die” pledge you made to be best friends with Jenny Bosben.

New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In

Declaring the event a rousing success so far, organizers confirmed more than 45,000 people turned out Wednesday for the first annual Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival, a four-day gathering that consists solely of a big empty field to do drugs in.

Director Seeking Relatively Unknown Actress For Next Affair

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’s going for a certain look and will know it when he sees it, feature film director Peter Hastings, 52, confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he hopes to find a relatively unknown actress for his next extramarital affair.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of May 26, 2015

ARIES: You’re not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity.

Famous Television Finales

The award-winning AMC series Mad Men ended its seven-season run on Sunday night and drew critical acclaim for its final episode, a conclusion that many felt was poignant and satisfying. Here are some other memorable TV finales across the years

Plan For Future Still Involves Drumming For Lifehouse

SOUTH BEND, IN—Fifteen years after first envisioning the path he hoped his professional life would take, local man Brent Gibbs is still planning his future around being the drummer for Los Angeles-based alternative rock band Lifehouse, sources confi...

Fox Revives ‘X-Files’: What To Expect

After months of speculation, Fox has announced that it is bringing back its hit ’90s TV show The X-Files, about a team of FBI special agents investigating unsolved cases about strange and paranormal phenomena, for at least six new episodes...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 24, 2015

ARIES: Your belief that everything happens for a reason may remain unshaken in the face of personal tragedy, but you'll certainly be upset when you find out the reason is "to get the Zodiac some chicks." 

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 10, 2015

ARIES: As long as people don't look too long and the lights aren't too bright, no one will be able to see where they tried to fix your face from what will happen to it this coming Thursday. 

Nation Delighted As Many Famous People In Same Room Together

HOLLYWOOD—Expressing their immense personal satisfaction at the gathering appearing on their television screens, millions of Americans across the country were reportedly delighted Sunday night upon seeing many famous people in the same room together...

Half Of Hollywood Test Group Screened Placebo Film

LOS ANGELES—Saying the methodology helps them ensure unbiased results in their marketing research, studio executives at Paramount Pictures confirmed that during a Hollywood test screening this week they showed half of all theatergoers a placebo film...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 6, 2015

ARIES: One of the worst moments of a person's life is when they finally realize that they're mortal and are going to die, especially when it's a person like you who only sees the cement truck at the last second.

A Timeline Of Upcoming Superhero Movies

Following the massive successes of the Spider-Man, Batman, Avengers, and X-Men franchises, studios Marvel and DC Entertainment have announced as many as 40 upcoming superhero movies to be released over the next six years ...

Sesame Street’s 45th Anniversary: A Look Back

Sesame Street, the long-running PBS children’s television show starring a cast of Jim Henson muppets who teach children basic learning concepts and introduce them to difficult issues, turns 45 this week.
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Business

Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

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'CSI' Set To Perform At Super Bowl Halftime Show

MIAMI—Just three weeks before its highly anticipated on-field performance at the Super Bowl XLIV halftime show, the popular CBS crime drama CSI is gearing up for what network executives are promising will be a "thrilling, high-tech whodunit on fourth and inches."

Cast members rehearse a body identification scene which will occur 40 minutes into the halftime spectacle.

According to CBS sources, the hour-long live performance on the Dolphin Stadium 50-yard line will feature the CSI cast and crew moving briskly through a tightly plotted narrative involving the investigation of several grisly murders in the greater Las Vegas area.

"Every performer dreams of playing the Super Bowl halftime show, so I can't begin to tell you how excited we are," CSI creator/producer Anthony Zuiker said. "When you look at the legends who've played it in the past—from Prince to Michael Jackson to Bruce Springsteen—it's incredible to think that CSI will soon be able to give screaming football fans a great show packed with all the taut, forensics-based intrigue they crave."

Added Zuiker, "And I don't want to give away too much, but let's just say things might get a little sticky for Sanders down in the lab."

An estimated $20 million has already been spent on the CSI halftime show, with much of the budget reportedly going toward the opening set piece, in which cast members Laurence Fishburne and Liz Vassey enter the stands to examine a young child's decomposing corpse in the fourth row.

While details of the show are a closely guarded secret, inside sources maintained that football fans would be treated to the same exciting twists and turns they have come to expect from the hit CBS drama, including the discovery of a semen stain just feet from the goal line that will leave viewers "on the edge of their seats."

"Obviously, the format presents some technical challenges for us," said CBS Super Bowl producer Lance Barrow. "This particular episode of CSI involves about 19 different locations, so it's going to take some effort, for instance, to transition smoothly between the victim's mother's dining room and the central booking station. But that's what the giant revolving set in the middle of the field is for."

Added Barrow, "The driving scenes might also be a little tricky, but we'll have a team of extras dressed as cops out there who will help clear a path in the crowd to make way for the cars."

Dolphin Stadium officials confirmed that they had hired extra grounds crew for what will likely be a heavy clean-up task. At least two dozen workers will be in charge of managing a 40-foot-long replica of a character's pancreas, which will spill simulated blood and digestive enzymes all over the field when punctured with a 30-foot-long scalpel prop.

CBS sources also revealed that CSI's performance would be interspersed with a number of showstopping live advertisements, including promos for upcoming episodes of other CBS series—among them Numb3rs and The Big Bang Theory—performed onstage by the casts of those shows.

While some have wondered whether the tense, hour-long narrative played out live in the middle of Super Bowl Sunday might take away from the actual football game, the network is assuring pigskin fans that they will not be disappointed.

"We're pulling out all the stops," CBS president and CEO Les Moonves said. "Tons of impenetrable forensic jargon; a graphic, four-minute conversation about a victim's rectal cavity; plus a special guest appearance from a certain former Nash Bridges star."

Added Moonves, "Now, if that doesn't say 'Super Bowl XLIV,' then I don't know what does."