"Sex With A B-List Celebrity" is just one of several proposals being proposed as the dead American Dream's replacement.
SEATTLE—In post-game comments following another Mariners loss, shortstop and former Cuban refugee Yuniesky Betancourt expressed a preference for ex-Cuban dictator Fidel Castro over current Seattle manager John McLaren. "It's all about power with him—he berates us and talks for hour after hour about unity and pride, but you know he doesn't care about anyone but himself," Betancourt said of McLaren and not Castro. "He calls team meetings, but he's just doing them to make it seem like he's doing a good job managing. For Christ's sake, he starts Miguel Cairo at first base sometimes. If this were the Villa Clara Industriales, Castro would have had Miguel Cairo beaten with a boot. Say what you want about him, but at least you knew where you stood with Castro." Betancourt was later seen slipping a makeshift raft fashioned from catcher's mitts and empty tobacco canisters into Puget Sound under cover of night.