adBlockCheck

Cubs, Absence From World Series Agree To 4-Year Extension

Top Headlines

Sports

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Cubs, Absence From World Series Agree To 4-Year Extension

CHICAGO—At a press conference Wednesday, the Chicago Cubs and their absence from the World Series announced an agreement to a four-year contract extension, with an option for another six years.

"The relationship between the Cubs and their absence from the World Series is strong, as both sides have shown loyalty to each other for the past 63 years," Cubs chairman Crane Kenney said. "It's something the fans have come to expect. Why, I remember sitting around the fire as a boy, talking with my grandfather about how the Cubs would never make it to another World Series. I only hope my children and their children and their children's children have the same opportunity." Despite rumors, absence from the World Series would not admit to holding closed-door talks with the Mets.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close