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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Cubs Players Heckle Lackluster Fans In Wrigley Field Stands

CHICAGO—After seeing yet another anemic, lifeless display in the stands, sources confirmed Tuesday that frustrated Chicago Cubs players began heckling the team’s lackluster fans at Wrigley Field. “C’mon! Show some heart, for God’s sake!” Cubs outfielder Nate Schierholtz reportedly screamed while his fellow teammates loudly booed the fans in the stadium. “You’re fucking pathetic! You don’t deserve to wear those colors!” At press time, irate Cubs players and coaches were seen leaving the game en masse midway through the seventh inning.

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