Cultural Idiocy Quiz

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Journeyman Fan Joins Sixth NFL Team In 5 Years

HELENA, MT—Continuing his lengthy trek around the league, sources confirmed Friday that 36-year-old journeyman fan Brian Ferretti has joined the Arizona Cardinals, his sixth team in the past five years.

Is The Nation Ready For The Next Katrina?

Friday marks the 10-year anniversary of when Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, and many commentators have argued that not enough has been done over the past decade to address infrastructure and emergency response issues that could put coastal cities nationwide, including New Orleans, at risk of a catastrophe on a similar scale. Is the nation prepared for another Katrina?

Department Of Labor Study Confirms Your Job Most Demanding

‘None Of Your Friends Understand How Hard It Is,’ Report Reads

WASHINGTON—Noting that the level of mental strain associated with the profession was far and away the highest recorded, a federal study on workplace conditions and occupational stress released Thursday has confirmed that your job is the most demanding career in the entire nation, and that none of your friends or family fully understand how hard it is.

Neighborhood Starting To Get Too Safe For Family To Afford

CHICAGO—Explaining that the sense of unease she felt walking to and from her home had declined markedly over the years, Humboldt Park resident Kirsten Healy expressed her disappointment to reporters Thursday that her neighborhood was becoming too safe for her family to afford.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Cultural Idiocy Quiz

Magazine Mania

DIRECTIONS: Name the magazine in which these features appear:

1. “Picks & Pans”

2. “Humor In Uniform”

3. “Separated at Birth”

4. “Milestones”

5. “Party Jokes”

6. “Random Notes”

7. “The Talk of the Town”

8. “Faces In the Crowd”

9. “Spy vs. Spy”

10. “Hints from Heloise”

11. List of 500 companies with

highest gross revenue

12. “Goofus and Gallant”

13. “Periscope”

14. “Cheers & Jeers”

15. Nude Demi Moore covers

16. “Pencilwise”

17. “Index” of interesting numerical facts

18. “Shot by Shot”

19. “Hot Sheet”

20. “A View From the Castle”

Answers

1. People Weekly

2. Reader’s Digest

3. Spy

4. Time

5. Playboy

6. Rolling Stone

7. New Yorker

8. Sports Illustrated

9. Mad

10. Good Housekeeping

11. Fortune

12. Highlights for Children

13. Newsweek

14. TV Guide

15. Vanity Fair

16. Games

17. Harper’s

18. Premiere

19. Entertainment Weekly

20. Smithsonian