U.S. Still Enjoying Small But Loyal Following

WASHINGTON—While the nation’s mainstream popularity has largely diminished in recent years, sources confirmed this week that the United States still retains a passionate fan base composed of a few extremely dedicated followers.

Sports Fan Has Opinion

INDIANAPOLIS—A local sports fan has an opinion about sports, sources confirmed Wednesday. According to individuals close to the situation, area man Justin Donnelly, a self-described sports “diehard,” is currently airing his thoughts on a...
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Dad Emotional After Son Beats Him For First Time In Game Of ‘NBA 2K17’

FINDLAY, OH—Gently setting down his PlayStation 3 controller and offering a congratulatory handshake, local father Gary Bullock reportedly became visibly emotional Wednesday after his 14-year-old son, Alex, beat him for the first time in a game of NBA 2K17. “I knew the day would eventually come when Alex would be able to throw down an alley-oop to himself using LeBron James in a blowout against me, but I was not prepared for how bittersweet it would be,” said Bullock, who fought back tears while fondly recalling all the long summer evenings he spent in the family’s living room teaching his son how to execute a flash pass and where to hold the right joystick to pull off the perfect reverse layup. “Occasionally I would take it easy on him to help build his confidence, and over the years he’s given me some pretty close games, but today we played a classic team match between the ’71 Knicks and the ’89 Pistons, and I realized I could not keep up. I bet pretty soon I won’t even be able to beat him playing with Jordan’s ’96 Bulls. He’s a man now.” Bullock wistfully added that watching his son beat him brought back memories of the first time he ever beat his own father in a game of Jordan Vs. Bird: One On One.


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