Dad Knows Guy At Work Whose Son Plays Triple-A

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Vol 50 Issue 17

60 Teens Arrested In Senior Class Prank

More than 60 students from Teaneck High School in New Jersey were arrested this week after they taped hot dogs to lockers and urinated all over the floors as part of a senior class prank.
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    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Dad Knows Guy At Work Whose Son Plays Triple-A

CEDAR RAPIDS, IA—Noting that the topic has been brought up at dinner several times this week, household sources confirmed Tuesday that local father Adam Pitzer works with a guy whose son plays Triple-A baseball. “Yeah, apparently he played Division I at LSU or something and then got drafted by the Orioles, and now he’s one of the best pitching prospects in their farm system,” said Pitzer’s 15-year-old son Trent, noting that his father emailed him the player’s stats page on the Norfolk Tides’ official website with the subject line, “This is Mark’s son!!!” “I think he was invited to spring training this year, but then got sent back to the minors. My dad kept saying he could pull some strings with Mark so we could meet his son the next time he’s in town and get his autograph or whatever.” At press time, Pitzer reportedly once again reminded his children that he could get tickets for local minor league outfit the Cedar Rapids Kernels whenever they wanted to go to a game.

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