Dad Returns From Business Trip With Exotic Gifts From Idaho

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Vol 49 Issue 11

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Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH), a leading conservative who was on Mitt Romney’s shortlist for vice president, announced the reversal of his longstanding position against same-sex marriage, saying he had a change of heart after his son came out to him two y...

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Dad Returns From Business Trip With Exotic Gifts From Idaho

ATHENS, GA—Following a business trip to the distant and mysterious land of Idaho, area sales representative Gary Chichester has returned home from the three-day sojourn bearing exotic gifts for his family, sources confirmed Sunday. “Behold, a lord’s ransom in magnificent spoils!” said the 43-year-old merchant traveler, presenting his wife with a delicate ceramic mug bearing the legend “Idaho: The Gem State,” a receptacle of the kind used for the consumption of coffee by inhabitants of the remote and alluring region. “And for you, my dearest children, these finely woven cotton vestments emblazoned with arcane Idahoan markings and with colorful etchings of an edible garden vegetable known to natives there as a ‘potato.’” Chichester then reportedly proceeded to uncork a vial of Crazy Rick’s Idaho Hot Sauce, a spiced distillation of the purest jalapeño and vinegar rarely attainable outside the Boise Airport.

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