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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Dad Tests Limits Of Cheesecake Factory Vibrating Pager

DENVER—After receiving the device intended to alert him when his family's table at the Cheesecake Factory was ready, local father Timothy Reardon traversed the parking lots of adjacent businesses with the pager Tuesday to determine its range. "I'll bet I can get all the way behind the Barnes & Noble, no problem," said Reardon, who has performed similar experiments with cordless telephones. "I don't want to take it too close to the Best Buy, though, because all that electronic stuff in there might screw it up." At press time, Reardon's wife and children were finishing their appetizers while Reardon was still trying to find a way to get off the roof of an Old Navy a quarter of a mile away.

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