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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Damaged Women's Coalition Releases Statement

The Damaged Women's Coalition released this statement denying that they marched on the Capitol Friday at 2 a.m. Another statement is expected to be released from the DWC also denying that they broke the windows at the offices of the Younger, Thinner, Self-Assured Women's Coalition after Congress invited the YTSAWC to participate in an upcoming two-day summit on marriage to be held in the Adirondacks.

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