Dame Judi Dench Begins Dating Female DJ

Top Headlines


‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Dame Judi Dench Begins Dating Female DJ

LOS ANGELES—Hollywood's paparazzi and celebrity gossip-hounds were abuzz with excitement this year, when notorious party girl and multiple-BAFTA-award-winning actress Dame Judi Dench, 74, entered into a lesbian love affair with a popular nightclub disc jockey.

Dench, a knighted member of the British Empire and notorious tabloid trash.

Though Dench had never made her sexual preference public, most assumed her to be heterosexual, since she has been romantically linked to such hunky actors as her late husband, Michael Williams. But she shocked the media when photos emerged in early July showing the classically trained Dench and a 32-year-old female DJ canoodling in L.A. hotspot Chateau Marmont. The Royal Shakespeare Company veteran and tabloid favorite was soon swarmed by paparazzi, who also published images of Dench drunkenly making out with her gaunt-looking, bleached-blonde lover in the alley behind D.C.'s most elite club, the Lotus Range.

In September, Us Weekly ran an exclusive claiming that the tomboyish DJ treated Dench to a sexy lap dance in full view of the revelers at New York's Gramercy Room.

"They're definitely into each other," one club patron told the gossip rag. "It was hot and heavy."

The affair caps off a tailspin of erratic behavior by Dench. While shooting Notes On A Scandal back in 2006, the hard-partying septegenarian was known to show up on set late and hungover, or sometimes not at all. In March 2007 she was pulled over for driving under the influence with fellow starlets Dame Maggie Smith and Angela Lansbury, and exposed her crotch to paparazzi while exiting her SUV.

While some claim Dench's tryst with the lesbian DJ is bringing the former Masterpiece Theatre star back down to earth, the relationship has not been without its rough spots. This November, several witnessed the Honorary Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts sobbing outside the chic London nightclub Boujis, after the waifish disc jockey "went ballistic" on Dench for dancing suggestively with close friend and actor Patrick Stewart. The 68-year-old Stewart reportedly had to physically restrain Dench's lesbian lover, who was kicking the British screen legend and spitting in her face.

"The girls are fine," Dench's publicist Leslie Sloane Zelnick said. "They just had a little spat."

Though Dench has said in multiple interviews that her family is supportive of the relationship, her estranged 112-year-old father, Reginald Arthur Dench—a recovering alcoholic and ex-convict—has publicly condemned the romance.


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close