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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Dan Dierdorf Provides In-Depth Analysis Of Player’s Shoe Falling Off

CHARLOTTE, NC—CBS color commentator Dan Dierdorf provided detailed analysis of a player’s shoe falling off during the Jets-Panthers game Sunday, speaking on the subject for several minutes as he determined the factors that caused the cleat to become detached from the foot. “A shoe just popped off, right at the 25-yard line, and it’s still on the ground, lying motionless,” said Dierdorf, who methodically scrutinized several angles of the broadcast footage in slow motion, establishing “that guy’s shoe fell off during the play.” “Wow, unbelievable. If you look closely, it appears that a teammate stepped on his left heel and it comes loose. And the guy keeps going without a shoe.” At press time, Dierdorf was sharing an anecdote about a shoe falling off during his playing days with the St. Louis Cardinals as the Panthers scored a touchdown.

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