adBlockCheck

Sports

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
End Of Section
  • More News

Dan Dierdorf Provides In-Depth Analysis Of Player’s Shoe Falling Off

CHARLOTTE, NC—CBS color commentator Dan Dierdorf provided detailed analysis of a player’s shoe falling off during the Jets-Panthers game Sunday, speaking on the subject for several minutes as he determined the factors that caused the cleat to become detached from the foot. “A shoe just popped off, right at the 25-yard line, and it’s still on the ground, lying motionless,” said Dierdorf, who methodically scrutinized several angles of the broadcast footage in slow motion, establishing “that guy’s shoe fell off during the play.” “Wow, unbelievable. If you look closely, it appears that a teammate stepped on his left heel and it comes loose. And the guy keeps going without a shoe.” At press time, Dierdorf was sharing an anecdote about a shoe falling off during his playing days with the St. Louis Cardinals as the Panthers scored a touchdown.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close