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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Dan Fogelberg Fails To Soothe Area Lite 108 Listener

SOUTHFIELD, MI—Detroit radio station Lite 108's claim of being "the station you relax at work with" proved false Monday, when M&I Marketing employee and Lite 108 listener Dean Claussen failed to be soothed by Dan Fogelberg's "Run For The Roses." "Where the hell is the media audit for the 26-40 demographic?" an angry Claussen shouted at co-worker Ira Geist despite the gentle, restful waves of Fogelbergian sound emanating from a radio less than five feet away. "How on Earth do you expect me to draw up a fucking proposal for the Mita Copier account without those numbers?" Linda Bahnsen, a representative for Lite 108, apologized for the station's failure to relax Claussen and urged him to continue turning on the Lite in the future.

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