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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Dance Cage Recidivism Rates At All-Time High Within American Club Scene

LOS ANGELES—Surpassing levels not seen since the mid-1980s, a new report published Monday by UCLA found that dance cage recidivism is at an all-time high within America’s club scene. “We’re seeing more and more people leave the cage only to find themselves right back inside not even a weekend later, gyrating once again in a seemingly inescapable cycle,” said the study’s lead author, Dr. Abby Meehan, adding that she had met dancers who had been in and out of cages so many times, they actually preferred moving their bodies behind bars than out on the floor with the general party population. “Unfortunately for many, it’s the only nightlife they know. And the sad thing is that the club system is designed to keep them in there for as many extended remixes as possible, often in cramped conditions with barely any room to grind or shake their asses at all.” Meehan went on to say that early intervention is crucial, as a 50-year-old in a dance cage is almost certainly beyond rehabilitation.

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New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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