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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Danica Patrick Flooded With Fan Mail From Nation's Inspired Little Girl

PHOENIX—Following her historic 8th-place finish at the Daytona 500 last weekend, NASCAR driver Danica Patrick confirmed Thursday that she has been inundated with thousands of letters from the country’s inspired little girl. “I’m thrilled to be a role model for the young woman who aspires to one day become a professional driver like myself, but unfortunately I just don’t have the time to get to all the mail from her,” said Patrick, who in the last day alone received over 200 handwritten letters from the adolescent girl in America she has influenced to pursue racing. “Even though I don’t have enough time to respond to every letter, I greatly appreciate and try to read every single note from my fan. I’ve sent back as many signed headshots as I can to the return address, but the letters just keep coming in. It’s amazing and of course very humbling.” At press time, Patrick had just received another shipment of 130 letters from her admiring young supporter, as well as an additional 17,000 from various middle-aged men across the nation.

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